innerhippy

…that when I read a news article that really makes my bloody boil, it's usually about the same person – Tony Bloody Blair! I'm sorry for ranting on (well, almost), but this cretin has done it again. Whilst defending his ludicrous anti-terror plans, he claims that it would be "irresponsible" to ignore police calls to let them hold terrorists for 90 days without charge. It sounds like he's trying to blame the police for this and that he is servant to their demands. Furthermore he states "That is what we need to make this country safe". I've never heard so much crap in all my life! He is saying that internment (which is exactly what it is) will stop terrorist attacks. Actually I agree, this would work – if we lock up every man and woman between the ages of 5 and 90 (which conveniently includes Walter Wolfgang).

Whenever he tries to make contentious policy, he always blames some other authority as justification for his actions. He's blamed the police here just as he blamed the JIC when excusing himself from taking us into an illegal war. The man appears incapable of taking responsibility for being Prime Minister because he has surrounded himself by 'yes' men and women. History has shown many times that this is never a good idea – the film Downfall show this very nicely indeed.

People seem to gloss over the content of the tripe that spouts out of his mouth because we have become so used to the effluent of political lies and spin. People seem hypnotised by his oration and charisma instead of hearing the dangerous agenda he is setting for our democracy. I honestly believe that he's even hypnotised himself and has started believing his own flawed reasoning.

Charles Clark, the Minister for Lies and Deception, was asked by the Commons home affairs committee whether people supporting Nelson Mandela's ANC would have fallen foul of his proposed legislation that outlaws the glorification of terrorism. His answer was "people would not have been guilty merely by not condemning the ANC". Yes folks, that really was his reply. Anyone else getting worried?

I would like to propose a new feature for BBC's Question Time. At the end of the program there should be an audience clapometer to indicate how well they thought the panel faired. Maybe a custard pie for the one with the worst rating?

From last night's program my impression of the panel was… (oh, and please feel free to comment!)

Ken Clarke
Surprisingly accomplished performance by the hush puppied, jowler wobbling old boy. His candidacy for the Tory leadership was, I originally thought, quite comical. But his apparent honesty and people's touch have won him many supporters and his momentum (all of it) is gaining. Had the popular vote from the audience – or was it a protest vote. Almost blew it at the end by denouncing wind power in favour of nuclear.

Simon Hughes
Muddled and incoherent arguments with no real passion or self belief. Came out with a few mediocre pro-liberal stabs but was largely ineffective. Was chastised by Dimbleby for not answering a question and then behaved like a naughty school boy.

Janet Street-Porter
Excellent performance all round. That end of the table always seems to be reserved for people with lucid opinions who have no need for accountability, but she spoke buckets of common sense and was very eloquent in execution. Her obsession with anti-private practice in the NHS was, however, a little naive and unrealistic.

Steven Green
What a tit! Wasn't able to form a single opinion of his own without first quoting from the bible. A miserable performance at ever conceivable level that would make even (his) God utterly embarrassed. Every time he spoke there was a collective groan from the audience. He made me feel slightly sick.

Patricia Hewitt
This can't have been easy for her as the knives were out and sharpened by the audience and fellow panellers alike. Despite the tide of public opinion against her she gave a robotic performance designed to disarm her (and government) critics by deliberately waffling on about absolutely nothing for as long as she was allowed to get away with. Sapped up precious broadcasting time with bags of government spin, empty sentiments and painfully slow delivery. Pathetic Hewitt. Should have had a sack of potatoes instead.

David Dimbleby
Possibly the sharpest and most hostile I have seen him in a long time – gave the panel a tough time and elicited some hard truths (especially from God's Twit). Apart from when he kept banging on about an IDS quotation to Ken Clarke to the point of embarrassment, he was otherwise quite brilliant.

So, during the Labour party conference yesterday Walter Wolfgang, 82, shouted "nonsense!" during Jack Straw's speech, just when he was trying to get the point across that they were only in Iraq to build democracy. This was clearly a breach of freedom of speech – Jack Straw has every right to say what he thinks. Iraq was then shown how a proper democracy should work by the efficient and swift removal of this evil and dangerous man, by Straw's Security (otherwise known as the 'SS'). As it transpires, this man was clearly a threat to security as he has a history of evading authorities. Only in 1937 did he manage to escape from Nazi Germany! Our own authorities (otherwise known as 'The Police') fortunately acted quickly enough to prevent any further security breach and detained him under the Terrorism Act. Or was the fox hunting act..erm, well which ever one they used, it had the desired effect.

This was a close call for Labour, and lessons must be learnt. Not only did this man interrupt a speech by a member of The Party, he even had the audacity to question the integrity of the Foreign Secretary! Either these conferences need to be held in private or we need better screening of members of the audience. Just one glance at his name should have told the conference organisers that he might be trouble – why was he let in at all?

I hope the people of Iraq can learn from this incident. In a true democracy (the one we're giving you), freedom of speech is very important and must be preserved at all costs: but for heaven's sake, just make sure that its from people you know and trust! You have the full weight of your own security forces (the ones we're giving you) in order to impose your freedom of speech and ensure that your future (the one we're ruined you) isn't compromised by silly little men like these.

Today we saw Kate Moss' reluctant PR effort to stem the over-hyped media reaction to taking cocaine – something that isn't exactly a new phenomena in the modelling world – by issuing a statement that she takes "full responsibility for [her] actions". Great, well done. So what's she going to actually do about it that's 'responsible'? Is she going to check into the Priory clinic and embark on a useless course of therapy? Is she going to go to the police and tell them where she got the drug from? (not that they'd have to look very far – check out the mumbling mess that's attached to her hand who goes by the name of Pete). Is she going to issue another statement and claim that taking cocaine was a mistake that she'll never do again?

No she'll no doubt ride the current buzz (sorry..) and wait for it to pass before restarting her excellent modelling career. Can't really blame her though, as the current political climate is rife with senior politicians "taking responsibility" but not actually doing anything to correct their admitted errors. George W. Bush took "responsibility" for the farcical handling of hurricane Katrina – but did nothing. Blair took "responsibility" for the Iraqi WMD debacle and did even less! Words, words, and yet more twisted words.

The problem is that as more people use this phrase, it's meaning diminished. Lenny Bruce used this desensitisation to great effect – try saying "nigger" over and over again and eventually it becomes a surreal collection of consonants and vowels without racial overtones.

All this is not exactly a good example to set to the younger generation who are always being derided for their apparent lack of responsibility. If I was them, I'd be pretty confused.

Perhaps a more appropriate phrase would be "absorbing responsibility".